What is Best in Life

As the years have passed and my taste in black metal has narrowed further and further, one album has consistently remained atop my “all time greatest black metal albums of all time” list.  That album is Burzum’s 1994 masterpiece, Hvis Lyset Tar Oss (If the Light Takes Us).  No matter how brilliant new discoveries like Paysage D’Hiver might be, I still feel like Hvis Lyset Tar Oss represents some kind of pinnacle of creativity that really pushed the boundaries of just what black metal could be. (more…)

Occasionally an actor will turn in a performance so powerful, that it completely permeates every square inch of the film it is a part of.  Usually, in the case of a film like Last Tango in Paris, the rest of the performances and the film as a whole tends to to suffer in comparison.  Rarely, as is the case with a film like Rio Bravo, the rest of the film possesses a brilliance on par with the central performance.  In this case, as we will see with today’s film, you will be dealing with the stuff masterpieces are made of. (more…)

Hello dear readers, it’s MAILBAG MONDAY again!  On this special day I will search through my mountain of reader mail and answer the five most pressing questions!

What’s that you say?  Do I really get that much mail?  Well, I’ll admit…the contact sectionof this website doesn’t get used that often, but, one of the perks of wordpress stats is that I can see the google search terms that people use to find my site.  And I’m going to go ahead and pretend that these search terms will count as reader mail, since they are often entered in the form of a question.  So as you read these, remember that each “question” was something that someone actually typed into google that brought up my site as a hit which they then clicked on thus letting wordpress stats report to me the search they used to find my site.  I could make up the questions myself, but it turns out the actual google searches are far better than anything I could come up with!

This month I answer the following questions:

• List all the best parts of dazed and confused?
• How to be the best in life?
• Is none so vile the best metal album of all time?
• Black metal love song?
• Pussypics?

So, without further ado, it is time to dig into the old Mailbag to see what kind of things have been on my readers’ minds in the last month! (more…)

Here are some two sentence reviews of the movies I watched in March.

Stats

• Movies watched – 15
• Movies that were new to me – 13
• Channing Tatum movies –  6
• Monthly Masterpieces – Ordet 

Welcome back to my most infrequently occurring Monday feature!  I’m speaking, of course, of Infrequently Occurring Fifth Monday (IO5M), where I come up with a new “top 5″ list on a quad-yearly basis.  This time I take a look at that most venerable of heavy metal lyrical topics: trains.  Actually, despite being literally “heavy metal” (even more than tanks!), trains aren’t really the focus of all that many metal songs.  However, I’ve found five for today that make the grade as all time classics.

What’s that? Where’s “Crazy Train”?  Well, that is a pretty great song, sure, but it’s more about a metaphorical train.  Also, I’m an elitist asshole.  Also, that major key verse definitely brings it down a few notches.  Anyway, pulling from a relatively short list of bands that I like, here are my favorite metal songs about trains: (more…)

Welcome back to everyone’s favorite www.isleyunruh.com Monday feature!  Middle Earth being the place of enchantment and wonder that it is, each month I will use my love of fictional cartography to transport you to another time and place.  So why not take a moment to fill your head full of knowledge that will have no bearing  at all on the real world?

This month I’ll be discussing the lands about the twisted bends of the great river Anduin. (more…)

I always have to stop myself when I say I like “all kinds of music”.  Because, honestly, that just isn’t true, there is really only one kind of music I like.  No, not [just] Black Metal, I’m talking about music in a minor key.  I mean, I’m a pretty happy guy, but there is something about sad, sad songs that just does it for me.  I don’t dislike Vivaldi’s “Spring” and “Fall”, but I far prefer “Summer” and “Winter” (guess which seasons he writes in a minor key).  “Satisfaction” is a fine song, but I’d rather listen to “Paint it Black” any day…you get the idea.  Basically, it don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that sting [of soul crushing sorrow and sadness]

This month on Minor Key Monday I talk about a genre that is near and dear to the hearts of many black metal fans, namely, Brit Pop: (more…)

Back in the day, when even a hint of clean singing in my metal was enough for me to roll my eyes and cry “not kvlt,” I probably would have hated New Wave of Finnish HeavyMetaler’s Oz.  Cut to 10 years later, when I’ve discovered a boundless appreciation for a much wider array of old school metal, and I’ve realized that the Finnish band Oz is pretty fantastic really.  Today I’ll take a look at III Warning, their 1984 follow up to their classic Fire in the Brain in an attempt to show just how awesome this band is (Also, I’m on vacation and short on time, so I’ll keep this one pretty clip heavy). (more…)

I’ve been having a hard time keeping these posts spoiler free lately, however, this post is a particularly grievous offender.  Because I will be discussing a film, that, perhaps more than any other, one can only see for the first time once, I’d advise anyone who thinks they might want to watch a slow moving Danish drama about faith to stop reading right now.

The alarmingly high percentage of christian themed music on Minor Key Monday notwithstanding, it’s no secret that my views on faith-based belief systems lie somewhere between scorn and loathing.  And yet here I am, not only reviewing one of the most powerful portrays of faith in cinematic history, but also calling it one of my favorite movies.  If I thought I had my work cut out for me when I took the idea of redemption out of Pickpocket last month, it’s really going to take some doing to spin Dreyer’s 1955 masterpiece Ordet in an even remotely faithless light.  I better get started! (more…)

Hello dear readers, it’s MAILBAG MONDAY again!  On this special day I will search through my mountain of reader mail and answer the five most pressing questions!

What’s that you say?  Do I really get that much mail?  Well, I’ll admit…the contact sectionof this website doesn’t get used that often, but, one of the perks of wordpress stats is that I can see the google search terms that people use to find my site.  And I’m going to go ahead and pretend that these search terms will count as reader mail, since they are often entered in the form of a question.  So as you read these, remember that each “question” was something that someone actually typed into google that brought up my site as a hit which they then clicked on thus letting wordpress stats report to me the search they used to find my site.  I could make up the questions myself, but it turns out the actual google searches are far better than anything I could come up with!

This month I answer the following questions:

• How to stop scoffing?
• Excalibur cheesy dialog?
• R Kelly meme?
• What is a rohmer?
• Most brutal black metal videos ever?

So, without further ado, it is time to dig into the old Mailbag to see what kind of things have been on my readers’ minds in the last month! (more…)

Here are some two sentence reviews of the movies I watched in March.

Stats

• Movies watched – 10
• Movies that were new to me – 6
• Month with the fewest movies watched in the last 4 years? –  This one.
• Monthly Masterpieces – Pickpocket, By the Law

As we go into tomorrow’s NCAA championship game, there is one question every Jayhawk fan is asking. How do we defeat the seemingly unstoppable Kentucky? Yes, Bill Self is easily the greatest coach in the history of the game. And yes, our defense is so brilliant it would have made the Spartans from 300 green with jealousy. But we are going up against a team that could legitimately beat many NBA teams due to the overwhelming strength of its roster. But (speaking of their roster) we don’t want to win this championship due to Kentucky inevitably being stripped of any potential title win due to Calipari’s obvious recruiting violations (you would think he would have learned his lesson). We are Jayhawks, we are better than that and we’ll win tomorrow’s game by sticking to what has worked for us all season. (more…)

Welcome back to everyone’s favorite www.isleyunruh.com Monday feature!  Middle Earth being the place of enchantment and wonder that it is, each month I will use my love of fictional cartography to transport you to another time and place.  So why not take a moment to fill your head full of knowledge that will have no bearing  at all on the real world?

This month I’ll be discussing the first of the great Gondorian beacon hills and the forest surrounding it. (more…)

I always have to stop myself when I say I like “all kinds of music”.  Because, honestly, that just isn’t true, there is really only one kind of music I like.  No, not [just] Black Metal, I’m talking about music in a minor key.  I mean, I’m a pretty happy guy, but there is something about sad, sad songs that just does it for me.  I don’t dislike Vivaldi’s “Spring” and “Fall”, but I far prefer “Summer” and “Winter” (guess which seasons he writes in a minor key).  “Satisfaction” is a fine song, but I’d rather listen to “Paint it Black” any day…you get the idea.  Basically, it don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that sting [of soul crushing sorrow and sadness]

This month on Minor Key Monday I talk about a composer who has been my all time favorite since about the age of five: (more…)

If there is one thing I thought I knew about black metal bands, it was that they couldn’t write death metal for shit (thankfully most of the Norwegian guys must have realized this and quickly switched to black metal in the early 90s).  Darkthrone’s Soulside Journey is ok, but I challenge anyone to get through the whole album without checking their watch.  And Thou Shalt Suffer (early Emperor) is even worse.  So you can imagine my surprise when I recently tentatively decided to check out Old Funeral (famous for having Varg Vikernes from Burzum, Abbath from Immortal and Jorn from Hades in the band) and discovered that they were actually rather awesome old school crushing death metal.  Of course, of the three previously mentioned black metal musicians, only Varg played on today’s 1991 EP–and I don’t think he wrote any of the songs, so maybe that explains how awesome it is. (more…)

Warning, minor spoilers ahoy in today’s review.  Of course, if you have looked at the header image you’re already halfway there, so you may as well keep reading.

If claiming to love one director  marks one’s true ascension to film snobdom (moving beyond being someone who is merely “really into Kubrick”) that director would be Robert Bresson.  Famous for committing all manner of pretentious indignities to a medium supposedly rooted in entertainment, I’d wager to say that it might even be easier to get a non-cinefile to enjoy a Rohmer film than anything from Bresson’s oeuvre.  Nonetheless, like all self-proclaimed cinefiles, I’m here today to tell you all how much I love Bresson. (more…)

Hello dear readers, it’s MAILBAG MONDAY again!  On this special day I will search through my mountain of reader mail and answer the five most pressing questions!

What’s that you say?  Do I really get that much mail?  Well, I’ll admit…the contact sectionof this website doesn’t get used that often, but, one of the perks of wordpress stats is that I can see the google search terms that people use to find my site.  And I’m going to go ahead and pretend that these search terms will count as reader mail, since they are often entered in the form of a question.  So as you read these, remember that each “question” was something that someone actually typed into google that brought up my site as a hit which they then clicked on thus letting wordpress stats report to me the search they used to find my site.  I could make up the questions myself, but it turns out the actual google searches are far better than anything I could come up with!

This month I answer the following questions:

• Twenty reasons for doing olympic style weightlifting?
• Why does gandalf say that it would be well to trust rather in friendship than to great wisdom in deciding who should accompany frodo?
• Graph of most watched films?
• Copying your butt on a copy machine?
• Real talk meme?

So, without further ado, it is time to dig into the old Mailbag to see what kind of things have been on my readers’ minds in the last month! (more…)

Here are some two sentence reviews of the movies I watched in February.

Stats

• Movies watched – 26
• Movies that were new to me – 22
• Shitty best picture nominees –  4
• Monthly Masterpieces – A Tale of Winter

Welcome back to everyone’s favorite www.isleyunruh.com Monday feature! Middle Earth being the place of enchantment and wonder that it is, each month I will use my love of fictional cartography to transport you to another time and place. So why not take a moment to fill your head full of knowledge that will have no bearing at all on the real world?

This month I discuss The Iron Hills, the last vestiges of Dwarven might in the Wilderland. (more…)

Here we are at Oscars time again, and here I am reviewing all the best picture nominees again.  Kind of reminds me of Valentine’s Day, everyone knows it is a bullshit holiday and yet it still gets talked about far more than it should come February.  Still, for what it is worth, today I will talk about what the American public has been led to believe are the ten best films of 2011.

This year the nominees were a bit more painful to get through than last year (a year when I didn’t really “hate” any of the movies despite all the things I said about Inception).  Sandra Bullock, despite being a fine actress who has starred in many of my favorite romantic comedies (for new readers of this site, no, I’m not being facetious there), once again graces the bottom of the list.  And this year only TWO of the Oscar nominees made it into my own personal top ten of 2011 list.  Which, even taking out my usual wacky picks like Fast Five, still amounts to a whole lot of snubs.

Still, if I don’t watch all the Oscar nominations and put them into a completely biased and arbitrary order then the terrorists win.  And the terrorists winning means that more movies like Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close will get made, so let’s get on with it shall we? (more…)