What is Best in Life

Exciting conclusion week continues with the second finale to the last three weeks worth of story lines!  This time around we see what Khaine’s wacky older brother Chet has been up to.  When we last left him he was determined to destroy the formal with his friend Dane and the help of a bunch of buckets of catshit and rotten milk. 

Anyway, as usual, the weak stomached may want to read ahead with caution, because as always: Jocks are filthy filthy people.  But in the words of that dude on Star Trek, “Don’t take my word for it…” (more…)

Here we are at my 100th blog post, which, if you only write one post a week (in a good month), kind of takes a while to get to!  And it does seem like quite a while ago when I first sat down and wrote the post that would become Goth Blog 1, my very first blog post ever!  So now, four and a half years later it seems only appropriate to return to Goth Blog for my 100th Blog post. 

If you’ve been following along the past few weeks, there is a storm brewing at the semi fictional Center Valley High where three different semi fictional characters (I will neither confirm nor deny that the beloved Goth, Jock and Snob are in any way facets of my personality) are on a collision course for their high school’s Fall Formal.

The buildup is finally over though, and in this, the first of three epic conclusions this week we find out if goth kid Khaine will go through with his goth girlfriend Thorn’s crazy plan to light a burning pentagram over the fall formal stage or if he will call the police/city guard instead in an attempt to save them both from certain imprisonment/expulsion.

But enough of my yappin’, let’s boogie! (more…)

Once again, from the pages of Goth Blog comes the third part of everyone’s second favorite spinoff: SNOB Blog! Has that wacky high school english teacher who just wants the finer things in life…and for people to know he wants the finer things in life finally found love? Read on to find out!

(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction; any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental)

Previously in Snob Blog:

Snob Blog 1- Our snob with no name (will his name be revealed in the forthcoming 100th post??) meets what he assumes is a fellow film elitist and potential soul mate at a movie store.  But upon going to her film party he is horrified to find that her friends’ taste in cinema is not as refined as he had hoped.  After hijacking her party to disasterous effect it becomes apparent to everyone that these were not his people.

Snob Blog 2- Overcoming the despair brought on by things not working out with the video store girl, our hero sets his sights on the school choir teacher that he has mistakenly assumed is a fellow music snob.  But when they decide to start carpooling to work together and his cd player refuses to work it is Ms. Kockenlocker and her ipod that teach our hero a thing or two about music.

And with that let’s move on to Snob Blog 3 – The Dance Emcee! (more…)

From the pages of Goth Blog, here is the third installment of the spinoff that everyone has been clamoring for: Jock Blog 3: The Giving Tree! That’s right, more wacky adventures from everyone’s favorite jock older brother, Chet! Will someone get sprayed in the face with shit again? Read on dear reader and see! But enough of my yappin, let’s get on with the Jock Blog!

(Warning, this is not for the weak stomached. I have culled knowledge gained from years of close contact with jocks in their natural habitat into what is actually a mostly hyperbole free post based on actual events. So yeah, jocks are filthy filthy people. You have been warned.)

Previously in Jock Blog:

Jock Blog 1 - Our hero Chet introduces himself and decides that maybe writing isn’t just for homos.  As it turns out he has plenty to write about when a rash of “German Situps” (a trick situp that Dane learned at wrestling camp that ends with someone’s ass in the “sit-up-er’s” face) sweeps the wrestling team.  The fun is over when Chris is unable to control his ex-laxed bowels while tricking the assistant coach into doing a German Situp.

Jock Blog 2 - Eddie and Benny’s feud over who was a better runningback comes to a head when Eddie frames a rival school in Shadyville for his trashing of Benny’s sweet 1978 El Camino. The boys first decide to make a “shitbox” for revenge but when it soaks through the cardboard on the way to Shadyville they get into a high speed shitfight in Chet’s mom’s car instead.  Their next plan to make a dry ice bomb full of the unpredictable substance “shitwater” also blows up in their face (literally) thus ending their revenge plans against Shadyville on a brown note. (more…)

The Tales of Center Valley saga continues here with GOTH Blog 3 – Love Does Not Come Free! Look no further if you are in the mood for something rather silly that is full of black nail polish, nerdy references, capes, teen drama and plenty of horrible poetry!

Previously in Goth Blog:

Goth Blog 1- Our hero Khaine introduces himself and his one true love Thorn.  Alas, but the gothqueen Thorn does not return his affection and his attempt to woo her with a public poetry reading in their english class goes disastrously awry.

Goth Blog 2- After nursing his wounds all summer Khaine returns to school to find, horror of horrors, Thorn has joined the pep squad.  Sorrow turns to rage which turns into an epic plan to ruin the school’s pep assembly.  Though it goes disastrously awry (as usual) Thorn (having recently quit the pep squad) is impressed by Khaine’s rebellious gesture and agrees to be his girlfriend.

Previously in Jock Blog:

Jock Blog 2- Khaine’s older brother Chet and his friends snuck their mom’s car out and events beyond their control led to a high speed shit fight inside the car.  And yes, a shit fight is just what it sounds like…see what you are missing out on by not reading Jock Blog?

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Today I’d like to talk about a certain young film maker who goes by the name of [good ol'] Jack Dickson.  Now, Jack Dickson is largely unknown amongst the elite film circles I run with, so I’d like to go ahead and take credit for discovering this young talent (well, I suppose the internet video guy deserves a bit of credit to as that was where I first discovered Jack’s magnum opus that I will be discussing today).

Good ol’ Jack Dickson has created a film of shattering honesty infused with a wealth of human insight.  His portrait of rural squalor filtered through the nostalgic lens of childhood innocence has more to say about life, death and what it all means than the complete oeuvre of countless directors many times his age.  But I think this is enough of an introduction, I’ll let the video speak for itself.  So, without further ado, I give you the quaintly titled work of brilliant outsider art: “Let’s dump water on a dead pig with maggots.” (more…)

Here are some two sentence reviews of the movies I watched in February.

Stats

• Movies watched – 37
• Movies that were new to me – 31
• Silent Film Fest movies - 11
• Monthly Masterpieces - There Will Be Blood

(more…)