What is Best in Life

As some of you may know, I rather like (and can be rather snobby about) board games.  Mostly I like the so called “designer” games from cool European countries (well, mostly Germany) that I’m always quick to explain how they are so much better than the games you’ll typically find in Wal-mart.  Which I suppose makes me the asshole that complains about playing Monopoly, and when I absolutely have to I’ll then insist on playing by the actual rules (no, Free Parking is not an actual rule but a house rule that funnels money back into a game system that is designed to take the player’s money away and thus makes the game length even more interminable).  I’ll point out that Sorry! would be better with a hand of five cards, Clue would be better without the random movement, and Uno would be better if we had never started playing it in the first place.

So yes, aside from occasionally ruining a well intentioned “non-designer” game night with snobbery, I really do like board games, and Magic the Gathering is one of the first “real” board games (I’m lumping “card games” in with “board games”) that I was introduced to.  It is a game where each player assembles their own deck of 60 cards from over 10,000 possible cards.  So there is a unique “deckbuilding” aspect of play (full of its own strategic decisions to be made before you even start playing) to go along with the actual game play where you pit your deck against the deck your opponent designed.   I have to say that Magic the Gathering is actually a pretty great game–as long as you play it the right way that is; because as great as it is, it is also an extremely flawed game. (more…)

“That’s what she said” (abbreviated TWSS) is a surprisingly new cultural phenomenon for all of its comedic depth.  In the literally minutes of internet research I did on the subject the earliest known example I could find of the phrase comes from Wayne’s World.  Of course in recent time it has been popularized by the TV show The Office (not to discount the efforts of frat boys everywhere).

For those unfamiliar with this little comedy gem, you basically just add “That’s what she said” to the end of any phrase that could remotely be construed as something a woman would have said while doing something naughty.

For example, let’s say you ask someone a tricky math question and they respond with “that’s a hard one!”  Well quickly saying “That’s what she said!” is a great way to let them know that while that might theoretically be true, it is also something that could have been uttered by any number of non specific females when confronted with an erect phallus.  Then you can both sit back and enjoy a good hearty laugh at the interjection of a little bawdy humor into an otherwise mundane day!

Still, not every “That’s what she said” is quite as hilarious as one could hope.  And while some may not agree with my theory that “That’s what she said” never really gets old no matter how many times you interject it into a conversation, I consider myself a master of sorts with the phrase.  So today I thought we could all sit back and enjoy a few classic “That’s what she said” moments from the Isley vaults.  All of these were quickly jotted down soon after they were said (all by me…with exceptions noted) and are as accurate as possible to best capture my brilliant yet subtle comedic wordplay.  But enough of my yappin, why don’t I shut up and let everyone get on with it! (more…)

I’ve talked about the idea of the Western as a unique American mythology before, and the concept is important in understanding my issues with High Noon.  The American Western is first and foremost about a hero.  The hero of an American Western isn’t a whiny reluctant pussy like Frodo Baggins, but rather an assured, immensely capable professional (that is, someone whose skill depends on experience as opposed to the “expert” whose supposed skill depends on “booklearning”).  The townsfolk of an American Western are not evil people but rather good folk who have fallen under the tyranny of bad men whose job it is for the hero to “clean up”.  As a professional, the hero is never motivated by anything other than the fact that it is simply his role in the dichotomy of the old West to face down the bad men as a guardian of the good townsfolk.

Is this a restrictive, simplistic formula?  Yes, of course it is, but it also connects with something deeply human and culturally American in the viewer.  America is a young country and yet, as I’ve said before, already has a mythos as developed as anything in the “old world”.  Thus it always leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth to see attempts to subvert and change this cultural backbone of our society into something it never was–which is exactly what 1952′s High Noon ends up doing. (more…)

Here are some two sentence reviews of the movies I watched in March, 2009.

Stats

• Movies watched – 26
• Movies that were new to me – 20
• Versions of a Western I didn’t really like - 2
• Monthly Masterpieces - Some Like it Hot, All That Heaven Allows, The Maltese Falcon, Mon Oncle

(more…)

Here we are at the final post of my GIANT-SIZED Fall Formal Crossover Special!  I’m pretty sure everyone has guessed who our two streakers are, though if you missed the Jock Blog segment yesterday be sure to check it out if finding out way more than you ever wanted to know about the state of our Snobby English teacher Mr. Brinkley’s foreskin sounds like fun!

Otherwise, all mysteries should be revealed (including perhaps some first names?) in this, the final post in what has hopefully been an epic “exciting conclusion week” for everyone! (more…)