Nerd Open Letters
An Open Letter to Matt Leacock RE: Your Disgraceful Cartographic Blunder on the Fate of the Fellowship Board Game Map
Greetings from the blackest reaches of Ungoliant’s foetid etherwebs, it is I, Eugene Pendergrass, here again with a Middle-earth-sized missive aimed directly at you Matt Leacock who, frankly, should have known better. As everyone knows, my standards for ludographic adaptations of The Good Professor’s work are as lofty as an eagles’ eyrie atop Thangorodrim itself.…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to Mythical Meats RE: Your Woefully Uninspired Fantasy Meat Sticks
Hello Mythic Meats, Eugene Pendergrass here, you might know me from such pedantic protestations as AN OPEN LETTER TO WWW.ISLEYUNRUH.COM RE: YOUR COMICALLY INEPT ATTEMPTS AT FICTIONAL CARTOGRAPHY, AN OPEN LETTER TO PETER JACKSON RE: RESTRICTING THE HOBBIT TO THREE MOVIES, and AN OPEN LETTER TO THE NEW YORK TIMES RE: YOUR WOEFUL LACK OF…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to the Internet RE: Refraining from Game of Thrones Spoilers Until I Watch Episode 7
Hello internet, it is I, Eugene Pendergrass, once again bulging above the interweb seas like a nightmare from the darkest depths of HentaiHaven [RIP!] Only today, I bring not be-tentacled venom, but rather the potential to avoid future multi-pronged wrathful gropings. Today I come with a warning to any would-be Game of Throne‘s spoilers out…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to Twitter RE: The Defamatory Claim of Gandalf’s Illiteracy
Thaur govannen Twitterverse, it is I, Eugene Pendergrass, here with the unfortunate news that I must direct one of my inimitably inimical broadsides in your direction. Beware the splashback, this one could get messy, because, like a dad joke upon the Doors of Durin, you shall not pass until I have had my full say.…
Read MoreAn Open Letter the Producers of Doctor Who RE: The New FEMALE Doctor
Greetings producers of Doctor Who, and specifically the new showrunner Chris Chibnall. Eugene Pendergrass here, you may know me from my notorious open letters whose multitudes outnumber even the syllables in Raxacoricofallapatorius. You may not be familiar with my particular brand of internet wrath, but now that Chris has graduated from a spin-off land B-lister…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to Marvel Studios, LLC RE: Unacceptable Cross-franchise Contamination in Thor: Ragnarok
Greetings Marvel Studios. Eugene Pendergrass here, you may know me from my notorious open letters, the number of which is legion. There are few fetid corners of “so-called” nerd culture which my open letter tendrils have yet to penetrate, but somehow you had yet to attract their probing ire. Well consider yourself unviolated no more, I would have…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to ABC RE: Your so-called ReaLARPy show, The Quest
Greetings ABC television network. Eugene Pendergrass here, you may know me from such extraordinarily exasperated open letters as, “An Open Letter to The CW RE: Your imbecilic decision to cancel Arrow,” “An Open Letter to www.isleyunruh.com RE: Your comically inept attempts at fictional cartography,” “An Open Letter to Peter Jackson RE: Restricting The Hobbit to Three Movies,” …
Read MoreAn Open Letter to The CW RE: Your imbecilic decision to cancel Arrow
Good afternoon The CW Television network. Eugene Pendergrass here, you may know me from such unusually ferocious open letters as, “An Open Letter to www.isleyunruh.com RE: Your comically inept attempts at fictional cartography,” “An Open Letter to Peter Jackson RE: Restricting The Hobbit to Three Movies,” “An Open Letter to the New York Times RE:…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to www.isleyunruh.com RE: Your comically inept attempts at fictional cartography.
Good afternoon Isley Unruh. Eugene Pendergrass here, you may recognize me from such vituperatively vicious open letters as, “An Open Letter to Peter Jackson RE: Restricting The Hobbit to Three Movies,” “An Open Letter to the New York Times RE: Your woeful lack of fictional fact checking,” “An Open Letter to www.isleyunruh.com RE: Your “reevaluation”…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to Peter Jackson RE: Restricting The Hobbit to Three Movies.
Aiya Peter Jackson. Eugene Pendergrass here, you may recognize me from such caustically choleric open letters as ”An Open Letter to the New York Times RE: Your woeful lack of fictional fact checking,” “An Open Letter to www.isleyunruh.com RE: Your “reevaluation” of The Lord of the Rings,” “An open letter to www.isleyunruh.com RE: The “Make…
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